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Monthly Archives: August 2014

O, Day of Labor…..

31 Sunday Aug 2014

Posted by Marianne On a Mission in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

family fun, funny kid stuff, hot dogs, International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers, Labor Day, Prairie Dog Bat Masterson, veggie burgers

I get these pop up horoscopes in my email. I read them in case something good might be ready to happen. For Sunday, I was destined to have “a new sense of peace and quiet” with everyone “concentrating on their own projects” and “less on socializing.” My house would be “a peaceful haven.” Ommmmm.

So what with this being the unofficial end of summer we might as well get the gang together for a last, peaceful blast. Nothing fancy. Just burgers, hot dogs, baked beans, chips. Oh, and sauerkraut for the hot dogs. A nice, quiet send off before school starts and the autumn rush begins. Just a burger and a handful of chips. No labor. Easy peasey.

But:

Jimmy and Sangela came first and they brought two big boxes of fresh, beautiful strawberries that we could have for dessert so that was good and I put them in the kitchen and we went out to the pool to get a cold drink and wait for the other revelers but we didn’t have long to wait because in another minute, in came Jill and Scott and Ryan bringing a bag full of fresh corn which would fit in nicely with our simple little barbecue fare and another pound of hot dogs plus rolls and pickles so we can make that delicacy called Prairie Dog Bat Masterson, a secret family recipe, not my family, oh, and those chicken wings, yes, ok, good, an appetizer is a great idea so go on, dive in because here come Joan and Nanu the Wonder Dog, just look out because Nanu is apt to charge through the house greeting all of us without waiting for Joan to take off the harness so stuff might fall over and she can unveil the treasures she has brought, including veggies for grilling, guacamole, salsa, tortilla chips, veggie burgers, veggie hot dogs, Swiss cheese, pickle chips, and three, yes, three favors of Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream, which should spiff up the strawberries very nicely, thanks, and what would you like to drink, oh, look, Mike and Lynn just pulled up, yay, Uncle Mike, woo hoo, Ryan executes a flying leap, Nanu barks and does The Dance of Joy, but oh, let me take those containers you brought, packed with pasta salad to complement the burgers, hot dogs, wings, beans, sauerkraut, Prairie Dogs, veggie burgers and veggie dogs, pickles, and your brownies, too, another tidbit to have with the strawberries and the ice cream, nothing fancy, just simple food with no muss, no fuss, as soon as I find enough platters, bowls, and baskets to hold the loot, but really, everybody outside and fetch yourself a cold drink or jump in the pool, the water’s great and I’ll be there in a minute.

Meanwhile:

imageAunt Lynnie brought two big bags of grape gumballs and Ryan said oboy, purple poop, and Nanu brought his football so some of us had to throw it as far as we could so he could run after it and Aunt Joan wanted Nanu to stop running and drink water imagebut somebody accidentally tripped on his water dish and it spilled and I had to get him more, with ice, while Uncle Mike imagewatched a YouTube of the Andrews Sisters singing like The Supremes and he said they looked like a comic club in the Mummers Parade and other people cooled off in the pool or with a nice cold beverage or bothimage and someone (Ryan) came up with a great idea that he, his mom, and Uncle Mike should perform a synchronized plunge into the water like Esther Williams but nobody was following directions and I tried to take a photo imagebecause I was ready to sort out the food so we could get the grills going but gee, is that a big grey cloud heading this way, we had better decide what we’re doing, hello, is anybody listening, ok, let’s ignore the cloud, it’s only misting, so get those burgers and all those other gourmet treats out here and can we eat soon, sure, no problem, veggies, burgers, hot dogs, did I mention sausage, beans, sauerkraut, whatever the heck else…..the game is on. image

Suddenly:

Even though the food portion of the program came together nicely and I actually ate a hot dog, not veggie one, with sauerkraut and had a Coors Light and others engaged in a feeding frenzy of burgers, hot dogs, you know, all that stuff I said before, the mist became a little more aggressive and while some of us warned about impending doom and started to carry stuff back indoors, others defied the mist because there were umbrellas for shelter and hey, it’s only water, and BLAM! a simultaneous crash of thunder and lightening changed their minds and the accompanying deluge caused a flurry of activity and a lot of wet people, wet paper plates, wet dogs, and wet food came charging inside and Ryan said it felt cozy, imagewhich it did, sitting on the floor with our wet plates while the rain intensified to monsoon level and the thunder claps and lightening bolts made Nanu psychotic but we were able to overcome it all by having strawberries, three kinds of ice cream, and brownies, plus Nanu had a Frosty Paws doggie ice cream image that took his mind of the weather outside, which was frightful, but the desserts were so delightful that nobody cared and just as suddenly the sun came back out and there was even a rainbow (it’s there…look closer) image but by then it was getting late and people thought they ought to head home so whose earphones are these, whose phone is this, does Ryan have all his chargers, where are your sunglasses, take some of this food back with you, gee, there isn’t much left after all, ok, thanks for coming…bye….see you in a couple of weeks….sorry you have to go back to school….or work….drive safely….bye….

So:

The universe snickered, the family did not seek peace, the labor-free day crashed ablaze in a glorious mob scene of funny stuff and food, and me? I slept like a baby. I guess that was the peaceful part.

O Day of Labor, aptly named. Sorry to see thee take summer away. Can’t wait to see what’s in store for autumn.

Happy Labor Day to all, especially the members of The International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers, and Local 98 in Philadelphia.

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Warm and Dry, that’s me

21 Thursday Aug 2014

Posted by Marianne On a Mission in Uncategorized

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Tags

ALS Challenge, funny stuff

I will not accept the ALS Challenge so save your nominations for those who feel the need to drench themselves in ice water. It’s a great cause. It’s a cute way to highlight the disease. But I ain’t doin’ it.

It’s not cute anymore, it’s boring. Even when people try to come up with clever ways to get soaked, or to soak others……..well, there are only so many ways to do it.

So then they invent other ways. The sneak attack. The second floor pour from above. The self pour, the multi-sided pour, the pour from the earth mover.

Or the actually pretty good combination of the sneak attack Presidential pour that Laura Bush perpetrated on George. She seemed to really like that.

Of course, there are the disaster pours, too. The ones where the bucket hits     the victim instead of just the water. Funniest Home Videos, here we come!

A friend in Belgium took the challenge and then was chastised for not having enough ice in the water. His response: well, we don’t have giant refrigerators here that make tons of ice!

But I have to say the pics and posts of people playing with water were a refreshing antidote to all the other news. The riots, the beheadings, the bombings, the monsoon floods…….. For that, I am grateful.

But we have run the theme out. I’m sure the ALS researchers are pleased. As they should be. And the victims and their families and friends are grateful and encouraged. The response is humbling. I can only wish that the folks who poured the water now know more about ALS.

So let’s find something else to do. Come on, summer’s almost over! We have beaches to explore, sleeping in to do, s’mores to squish…..

That’s it: The S’More Squish Challenge! Most creative squish. Biggest squish. Sneakiest squish. Squish not using chocolate, marshmallows and graham cracker squish. Presidential squish? And why not?

You get what I’m saying, right? Not trying to be mean. No, really.

Moving on…….more Musings later. Wait til you hear what I have to say about Small Plate Restaurants………

 

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Random Musings

07 Thursday Aug 2014

Posted by Marianne On a Mission in Uncategorized

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Tags

collectibles, funny stuff, Jerry Mahoney, marketing, Old toys, questionable advertising

I sent a birthday card to a friend having one of those significant, milestone birthdays. The card said how valuable and collectible our old childhood favorite toys would be today, with the sentiment ” You’re not old, you’re collectible.”

I like it: collectible. A keeper. Something to hang on to. A person/thing/memory of value. I wrote a message on the card wishing him a ‘collectible’ day.

A few days later, he sent me an email thanking me for the card. He said he had spent the day with his two adult kids and his Absolutely Perfect Grandson. They hung out, ordered pizza…okay, salad, too….and just enjoyed the day. Sounds like it was collectible.

My new signoff now will be Have A Collectible Day. Just so you know. Although that bit about our childhood toys…..got me to thinking.

I got a Toni doll from Santa when I was about six. I saw my exact Toni doll, whom I called Alice, in an antique store on Pine Street in Philadelphia. Price tag: $400. Ah well.

image

Here’s little me with some of my now collectible dolls. That’s Alice there in the front–the cute blonde with the red bow and plaid jumper. Wow, look at some of those other oldies but goodies: Little Lulu, Howdy Doody, The Magic Lady, Jerry Mahoney. I could have been rich! 

I’ll Bet It Seemed Like A Good Idea

You boomers out there, you know we’re bombarded with all kinds of targeted advertising of, let’s say, questionable taste.

Bladder leakage? No problem. We have pads of ever size, shape and, absorbency! And for you guys, we have ’em shaped like, well, like you! Overactive bladder? A little pill will take care of that. Forget looking for the restroom! You might not even need those pads!

Oh, yeh, and we have pills to relieve that pesky painful sex if you’re a gal of a certain stage of life. Which you might need if you are closely related to someone who is a guy in need of a pill that makes him want to sit side by side with you in a couple of old claw foot bathtubs and see if his heart is healthy enough for sexual activity.

But friends, I recently received, right here in the comfort of my own home, a marketing piece that astonished me. And I believe it was carefully targeted to….Boomers.

No, really. A letter announced I had won a Major Award. It had a VERIFICATION NUMBER and everything. Wait for it.

Here’s the first paragraph of the letter.

CONGRATULATIONS! On behalf of the Management at A Certain Cemetery, we are pleased to provide your family verification that you have been awarded one burial space absolutely at NO COST!

Naturally, I though it was a joke. But it was legitimate. I had been selected ‘at random’ for this limited offer….current market value of my burial space is $1,500. ! All I had to do was contact the Awards Secretary (within fifteen days) to confirm my information and I was under no obligation to purchase anything.

Like, I don’t know, a casket to go with my burial space? How about a nice granite marker?

I got the giggles. The kind of giggles that start bubbling up slowly. I reread the Award Verification. I re-reread it. Then I noticed a line at the bottom of the letter, under the signature.

Please accept our sincere apology if this has reached you at a time of illness or loss.

Giggles erupted into screaming, howling belly laughter. WTF? Maybe you should have thought of this a little sooner!

I am not making this up. I couldn’t. But it would have made a great Seinfeld episode, wouldn’t it?

George gets this letter and plunges into angst. It’s an omen. He’s going to die. In fifteen days. Somebody’s after him. A former girlfriend? Jerry says fugeddaboutit.

Kramer decides they should investigate. They sneak into the cemetery at night and explore all the available burial spaces included in the offer. He advises. This one’s too small, this one’s too big. That one under a big tree. It’s too shady and could cause moss to grow on the marker……oh, yes, the marker, available for a limited time only at the introductory price of only….but oh no! The stone on the  occupied space right next door reads………Susan! His deceased fiancée! Doom! It ends in hilarity as Kramer falls into one of the Limited Edition plots and George is too short to pull him out. They call Jerry who is waiting for a table at a Chinese restaurant. Hearty laughter all around.

Sounds collectible! Ya gotta laugh, dontcha? Here’s the letter.

IMG_1717

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You Gotta Get One of These!

01 Friday Aug 2014

Posted by Marianne On a Mission in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

food, gadget, quick dinners

I’m usually a hard sell on those miracle gadgets they sell on TV. You know, the Popiel Pocket Fisherman or the Ronco Rhinestone and Stud Setter (create this beautiful denim jacket in just minutes!), the Dump Cake Cookbook (get the Dump Dinner Cookbook FREE,). You know the pitch: but wait! If you call in the next ten minutes, we’ll double your order! Just pay separate shipping!!

But when I saw this little gem, I had to take notice.

It’s called Veggetti and with a few simple twists of the wrist, you can have beautiful julienned vegetables that are delicious in soups, salads, stir fries, and probably more! Hey now!

20140801-113051-41451456.jpg

“But, Mare,” you probably say. “Can’t I do this with my food processor?”

Sure. But compare the size of the Veggetti to the size of your Cuisinart. Which is easier to clean up?

“Ok, but I have a grater.”

Me, too, and I always have at least one wound from grating too close to the fingers.

Seriously, I have used this to make pasta from zucchini….just fabulous with a melange of other fresh veggies and a swirl of olive oil. Way to use that bumper crop that’s probably happening right now. Cucumber salad is a snap, too, and check out this carrot slaw.

20140801-113625-41785254.jpg

I didn’t buy it on TV. A local department store has a niche called As Seen On TV and you can get the same thing without the extra schmaltz you probably don’t want anyway. Plus, if the miracle gadget doesn’t work, you just take it back to the store.

Believe me, I am not Martha Stewart. I just want to make something good for me to eat that’s also easy. Summer veggies are in……..I’m taking advantage!

Veggetti comes with a small recipe booklet to stir your creative juices. Who knows where it could lead? And Veggetti sounds better than Dump Dinner.

This evening, carrot slaw and tuna salad. Wow, I feel so healthy.

20140801-114552-42352911.jpg

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Marianne Kirby Rhodes

Marianne Kirby Rhodes

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